What hurts the most

Why must you part two souls? Why must you play such an important role in people’s lives? Why must you bring such blissful joy and painful sorrow to those who have experienced your wonderfulness? I thought we were meant to be. I thought he would be my first and last, that we would be together until one of us drops dead. He would be the person I grow old with. He would be the person who makes me feel whole. Make me want to change to be a better person. He would be the reason why I wake up with a smile each morning. He would make me have a bajillion butterflies inside me that would not die even with just the thought of him. Make me want to give my best in everything I do…

I thought we were right together.

but…

T_________________________T

Curses.

It just had to happen. I am maimed. It’s hard to deal with pain of losing him but I am learning. Learning to let him go. Bit by bit. Try and erase the thought of including him in everything. Plans, hopes and future.

My feelings towards him grew stronger each time I realized that I might lose him one day. That feeling of knowing that he will never be by my side is…ineffable.

Perhaps one day you will lead us back together.

Or perhaps never.

I have to learn the hard way of growing up.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

- John Greenleaf Whittier

*I think Rascal Flatt's What hurts the most is a suitable song for this entry.

I look forward to that day where I will look back and smile at this entry.